Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Zebra extinction

Since my goal is NOT to quit being a fat slouch cold turkey but instead more about seeing how many calories I can eliminate, I write this on the remainder of my 25-minute duty-free (yeah, right) lunch on the heels of housing a chicken fried steak and mash potatoes, a meal I fell in love with during my two-year college tenure in south Texas.
I am not eliminating lunches, nor even making them more healthy … yet. Strictly calories, and my caloric decimation needs to jump start, so I’m going to cheat just a smidge. But it’s not really cheating. You’ll see what I mean.
I have vowed to eliminate Little Debbie Zebra Cakes from my 2011 life. My wife and I figured out I average about 25 Zebra Cakes a year. While I’m not going to share with you the mundane details about how we came to this conclusion, I will say I don’t even really much like Zebra Cakes. They just became the one thing I always got when I filled up with gas at a station near our home or when we were on long road trips and stopped for gas. Besides, they’re cheap. About 75 cents. And there is something magical about a creamy-filled center. Similar to coming down on Christmas morning and seeing your stocking filled with Santa’s gifts, a feeling adults need to replace with something else. I replaced that sensation with Zebra Cakes’s creamy-filled center.
I need to stop here for a moment and give credit where it’s due. About a year ago Amanda and I were dining out with some friends. A friend of a friend who I hadn’t met prior was eating with our group. He said he ate as many as six Little Debbie snack cakes a day. They were his thing, I guess. I can’t recall his cake of choice, but their calorie count is similar in all their yummy goodnesses. He said he shed a bunch of pounds simply by eliminating that one thing from his life.
So to that dude, whatever his name, I want to thank him for his inspiration.
Zebra Cakes have 380 calories. I know because I went to the same store where I always buy them (yes, I have heard about the Internet and its amazing information capabilities). Cruelly, they were out. But being determined to stare down the Zebra Cakes and walk out empty handed (except for the calorie count), I returned to that scene of so many crème-filled crimes.
So 380 calories X 25 Cakes = 9,500 calories eliminated.
Last gym workout was on Sunday (this is Wednesday). I burned 557 calories, which gives me 1,848 calories burned through working out this year.
With the elimination of Zebra cakes added in, that’s 11,348 calories eliminated from my 2011 self. I’m already one-tenth of the way to my 100,000 calorie goals. Of course, I have to actually abstain from Zebra Cakes for 11½ more months now, that being the hard part.
NEXT ELIMINATION: Perkins sugar cookies. L Shucks. I actually like those.

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